On the eadge

On the edge of breaking down I try to get her out of my head and every time I fall asleep I dream about the most amazing beautiful girl and wake up alone its killing me from the inside out and don't know how to get past the past of all I have done to the one and only thing that means the world to me. It's pushing me off the edge I don't want to fall but I can't help it true love can break you heart but I have to let her go she has a new man in her life that I hope is 10 times better than the guy that broke her heart I will never forgive my self for what I have done and lost nothing will ever replace what I had. Best wishes to you Jordan and Kyle Jordan you will always have a place in my heart. Love forever and always Tyler

lifes lesson

I have now learned Lifes hardest lesson lies get you know where but heart broke and lost I have never understood why I havee always lied I just had to het help witch I am and its really helpful I wish I would of went sooner so I could of fixed things before they got worst and when I say worse I mean every thing on my life is falling apart I have not Ben able to stop thinking of the most amazing and beautiful girl in my life she was amazing and always will be. And I thank her so much for every thing I have learned from her she has turned my heart all muchie but that is a good thing she make me look at the world in a different way I just wish I could show her I can be the man in her dreams and treat her the way she deserves being truthfull always being there when she needs some one to talk to helping her out when she need help showing her the world and both of us learning from each other.

kill myself

Tim McGraw, Kill Myself Lyrics


I'm gonna clean the house
I'm gonna fix the fence
In my final hours
I'm gonna tie up these loose ends

I wont leave a note
For anyone to find
Tomorrow they'll know
What I've done here tonight


The drastic steps I've takin'
Are just an act of desperation
I knew no one would miss me
So what the hell
I fought and lied I drank too much
Hurt every one I ever touched
Just how much I hurt you is hard to tell
This is not some kind of cry for help
Just good bye I wish you well
Because I love you
I'm gonna kill myself

Now who is that
In my easy chair
Now wait a minute
That's the old me sittin' there

And I thank God
The devil in me died
I stand before you now
A man changed and alive


The drastic steps I've takin'
Are just an act of desperation
I knew no one would miss me
So what the hell
I fought and lied I drank too much
Hurt every one I ever touched
Just how much I hurt you is hard to tell
This is not some kind of cry for help
Just good bye I wish you well
Because I love you
I have to kill myself

Gonna clean the house
Gonna fix that fence
In my final hours I'm gonna tie up these loose ends

The hardest times of my life

It's really sad when I am watching the batchaler and start getting tears from seeing how happy they are together and wish I could of done the same for the girl that means the world to me I just think Jordan was the most amazing girl ever and the most beautiful girl ever and am so sorry for lieing about all the stupid Shit I will always have her in my heart and nothing could ever change that lover for ever and always Tyler

life

I have never thought I would say I want the easy way out in life I have fucked every thing up I just never did what was rite I can't stand this no more life sucks I never had such bad dreams of killing my self every thing that happed was my fault why did I just keep doing the bull Shit I have done I can't do this Shit no more I have to grow up and face life I just hate every thing and every one I have hurt what the fuck is wrong with me why would I do the Shit I have done to people I love so much moral of the story tell the fuckin truth lies don't get you any where in life but in the worst spot witch I am in.....................

FIll so sick and lost

I have never felt so sick I don't no what's wrong with me my whole body fills like Shit I can't sleep still can't eat I fill like my body is closing down. I fill so lost I have lost the best thing that ever happen to me and its so hard I just can't help myself I am still testing her when she told me to give her space its just so hard I keep having dreams that are not helping I never had such bloody dreams its really scaring me I have a new way of looking at life I never saw it this way and its killing me I miss my family I had they where every thing to me Jordan lalia axel foxy Bruce Chevy tony Rachel the whole family I just wish I would of pulled my head out of my asa sooner I could of really made a big impact. I fill like I never did what I should of the first time I also have this killing pain in my head and stomach that will not go away. To some it all up I just should of done what I am doing now getting help things would of Ben so different I will always have a place in my heart for Jordan and her family for ever and always.

Hardest time of my life

Never had such bad dreams of killing myself I hate it I don't want to sleep every time I do its bad dreams I can't get over the lies and the pain of losing the best thing in my life I will never look at life the same with out her she did so much for me and all I did was lie over and over about stupid Shit why could I do that why did I not just tell the truth. Truth is the main thing in a relationship every thing else was good I treated her as if she was a princess if I could of just told her thetruth every time we would not have Ben in the spot we are in now I miss her and lalia so much and always will love forever and always Tyler

HEART FALED

Have never felt so suicidel i hate the things i did to the one thing that was good in my life i never did it to hurt her i just had a hard time with lieing i had to lie my whole life to get any where in my life but that not any reasone to do what i did i will never forgive myself i just wish i could of fixed my probs before i lost the love of my life she did so much for me and what did i do nothing but hurt her over and over life will never be the same she will always be the love of my life i just hope the next guy in her life gives her what she deserves in life she dreams big and is a wounderful person i would do any thing for her.

for ever and always,
Tyler

The little things in life

I miss all the little things in life like always having the one person you could always talk to about any thing, having some one be so in love with you they could pluck your eye brow, having the most beautiful girl in your life that would do any thing for you, having the family you always wanted in life not ever thinking it was possible, going on walks in the mountains and exploring the world i miss jordan and lalia so much i never thought i would lose them they were every thing to me and i had to keep lieing and learn the hard way i have never saw life the way i have in the last week its ben the hardest thing i have ever done. i wish there was a way to show her i can change i know it takes time i just miss having the one person to hold in my arms i have always loved her and always will i just hope true love can help me out she is the girl in all my dreams i will never forget the time we met she was liseing to blink 182 and i new she was my type of girl i never new she would of ben the love of my life.

living day by day

its so hard to have every thing one day ond lose it all in the same day i relize the lies never got me any where why didnt i just get help before i lost the love of my life jordan was every thing to me. i just dont understand why i kep lieing to her i know better than that i never got away with it all i got away with is breaking her heart and throughing mine out the door jordan if you are reading this you have always ben the love of my life and i am so sorry for putting you through this you did not deserve this i will always love you with all my heart and wish there was something i could do to start over i would change so much and i know you have hurd this over and over but i never saw life this way and it hurts so bad we were a good team i could only imagin what we could of done if i would of never lied to you. i will always be there if you need any thing love forever and always Tyler

What hurts the most

Well where to start after being with jordan since 05 tell now i had chance after chance to prove to her i would not lie to her and i did over and over why did i not just get my shit together before i lost her for good she was the love of my life i wish i would of done what i needed to do to get help. jordan has done so much for me and so did her family i really hade the best girl in my life she worked hard in school went to collage and what did i do bearly get through high school and if it was not for her i would not have she did every thing for me why could i have done what i did for so long. now i have lost the best thing that ever happen to me i hope one day we could be friends.

The love of my life

Well where to start i met this wonderful girl in middle school and never thought that she would turn out to be the love of my life i owe her every thing she has done every thing from helping me get through high school and get out on my own i love her to death and now we have ben together for 5 years and still counting we now have are own place in midvale utah and we have are first child her name is laila she is a mini weenie dog and we love and spoil the crap out of her. too make a long story short i love you jordan stocking

for ever and always Tyler