What hurts the most

Well where to start after being with jordan since 05 tell now i had chance after chance to prove to her i would not lie to her and i did over and over why did i not just get my shit together before i lost her for good she was the love of my life i wish i would of done what i needed to do to get help. jordan has done so much for me and so did her family i really hade the best girl in my life she worked hard in school went to collage and what did i do bearly get through high school and if it was not for her i would not have she did every thing for me why could i have done what i did for so long. now i have lost the best thing that ever happen to me i hope one day we could be friends.