On the eadge

On the edge of breaking down I try to get her out of my head and every time I fall asleep I dream about the most amazing beautiful girl and wake up alone its killing me from the inside out and don't know how to get past the past of all I have done to the one and only thing that means the world to me. It's pushing me off the edge I don't want to fall but I can't help it true love can break you heart but I have to let her go she has a new man in her life that I hope is 10 times better than the guy that broke her heart I will never forgive my self for what I have done and lost nothing will ever replace what I had. Best wishes to you Jordan and Kyle Jordan you will always have a place in my heart. Love forever and always Tyler

lifes lesson

I have now learned Lifes hardest lesson lies get you know where but heart broke and lost I have never understood why I havee always lied I just had to het help witch I am and its really helpful I wish I would of went sooner so I could of fixed things before they got worst and when I say worse I mean every thing on my life is falling apart I have not Ben able to stop thinking of the most amazing and beautiful girl in my life she was amazing and always will be. And I thank her so much for every thing I have learned from her she has turned my heart all muchie but that is a good thing she make me look at the world in a different way I just wish I could show her I can be the man in her dreams and treat her the way she deserves being truthfull always being there when she needs some one to talk to helping her out when she need help showing her the world and both of us learning from each other.

kill myself

Tim McGraw, Kill Myself Lyrics


I'm gonna clean the house
I'm gonna fix the fence
In my final hours
I'm gonna tie up these loose ends

I wont leave a note
For anyone to find
Tomorrow they'll know
What I've done here tonight


The drastic steps I've takin'
Are just an act of desperation
I knew no one would miss me
So what the hell
I fought and lied I drank too much
Hurt every one I ever touched
Just how much I hurt you is hard to tell
This is not some kind of cry for help
Just good bye I wish you well
Because I love you
I'm gonna kill myself

Now who is that
In my easy chair
Now wait a minute
That's the old me sittin' there

And I thank God
The devil in me died
I stand before you now
A man changed and alive


The drastic steps I've takin'
Are just an act of desperation
I knew no one would miss me
So what the hell
I fought and lied I drank too much
Hurt every one I ever touched
Just how much I hurt you is hard to tell
This is not some kind of cry for help
Just good bye I wish you well
Because I love you
I have to kill myself

Gonna clean the house
Gonna fix that fence
In my final hours I'm gonna tie up these loose ends

The hardest times of my life

It's really sad when I am watching the batchaler and start getting tears from seeing how happy they are together and wish I could of done the same for the girl that means the world to me I just think Jordan was the most amazing girl ever and the most beautiful girl ever and am so sorry for lieing about all the stupid Shit I will always have her in my heart and nothing could ever change that lover for ever and always Tyler

life

I have never thought I would say I want the easy way out in life I have fucked every thing up I just never did what was rite I can't stand this no more life sucks I never had such bad dreams of killing my self every thing that happed was my fault why did I just keep doing the bull Shit I have done I can't do this Shit no more I have to grow up and face life I just hate every thing and every one I have hurt what the fuck is wrong with me why would I do the Shit I have done to people I love so much moral of the story tell the fuckin truth lies don't get you any where in life but in the worst spot witch I am in.....................

FIll so sick and lost

I have never felt so sick I don't no what's wrong with me my whole body fills like Shit I can't sleep still can't eat I fill like my body is closing down. I fill so lost I have lost the best thing that ever happen to me and its so hard I just can't help myself I am still testing her when she told me to give her space its just so hard I keep having dreams that are not helping I never had such bloody dreams its really scaring me I have a new way of looking at life I never saw it this way and its killing me I miss my family I had they where every thing to me Jordan lalia axel foxy Bruce Chevy tony Rachel the whole family I just wish I would of pulled my head out of my asa sooner I could of really made a big impact. I fill like I never did what I should of the first time I also have this killing pain in my head and stomach that will not go away. To some it all up I just should of done what I am doing now getting help things would of Ben so different I will always have a place in my heart for Jordan and her family for ever and always.

Hardest time of my life

Never had such bad dreams of killing myself I hate it I don't want to sleep every time I do its bad dreams I can't get over the lies and the pain of losing the best thing in my life I will never look at life the same with out her she did so much for me and all I did was lie over and over about stupid Shit why could I do that why did I not just tell the truth. Truth is the main thing in a relationship every thing else was good I treated her as if she was a princess if I could of just told her thetruth every time we would not have Ben in the spot we are in now I miss her and lalia so much and always will love forever and always Tyler